Missing the Grandkids

 

Living in another country from your children and grandchildren makes it hard. You miss them so much but it is no ones fault. They are just living their life and you yours. You are happy for their accomplishments but wish you were closer to share their joy. They have to celebrate without you. You would like to be there but it is just not possible. You feel you are missing so much of their lives. You take comfort in knowing they are surrounded by others who also love them and share their joy in what is going on it their lives. My daughter Nadia married a NBA basketball player. They met when he (Matt Bonner) played for the Raptors but then was traded to the the San Antonio Spurs. You feel blessed she made a great match. She has found someone at the right time in her life who shared her vision of a future filling her life with children. Nadia as a teen sponsored through World Vision, children and has always loved them. Even going through school as a gifted student she saw her future as a mother. She is a great Mom and loves her children dearly. I just wish I could spend more time with them and do more things with them. Unfortunately I can't. I just have to cherish the days I do share with them and remember I am lucky I have these. 

My son Adam lives close by and remains single and childless. I wish him the same joy Nadia has found with her family.

Well my granddaughter EV got her wish this year and got to participate in the River Walk parade and be on a float as a participant rather than as as spectator. Last year when the San Antonio Spurs almost won the season she was told this would be part of the celebration and she was hopeful she could participate in it. This year she got her wish. Her Dad's team the San Antonio Spurs won. My grandchildren are truly blessed and are experiencing a wonderful life and face a great future. 

I just miss them so much.

Happy Birthday Miss EV (Evangeline-Vesper Lynne Bonner)

EV turns 5 today

EV with poor Olive recovering from surgery.

EV celebrating with her Dad Matt Bonner. The San Antonio Spurs won the NBA Championship this year 2014

The loving and wonderful Bonner family, Mom Nadia, Dad Matt, brother August, and Birthday Girl EV.

EV practicing her interviewing skills

Happy Birthday Evangeline-Vesper Lynne Bonner.

You have brought joy and love into our lives. May this day unfold in a wonderful way for you. I know you are surrounded by people who love you.
I was with you last year when you turned 4 and remember it as one of the best days of my life.

Love Grandma
XXXXXOOOOO

Birthday Celebration with the Grandkids

The trip to San Antonio was a success. What a great present celebrating my 65th birthday with most of the important people in my life. My son Adam took me out the week before for lunch to celebrate. 

Gary and I stayed in a hotel not far from my daughter Nadia's home. My son-in-law Matt Bonner treated. They also took us out for a great steak and seafood dinner. With their friends the Zurita family a birthday party was planned. Also arranged was for us to attend the first San Antonio Spurs playoff game of the season. Excitement overload!

At Martha and Franz's place cake was served with candles on top and all present singing Happy Birthday. My granddaughter EV, as one of my wishes blew out the candles for me on the cake. Four year old children love this as candles lit are magical. EV and her brother August sang along with the other guests. My daughter had rehearsed August and bless his little heart he watched and sang along with all the others doing his best. He was beaming from ear to ear from his efforts. What a proud little guy. He is one and a half years old. 

Martha was also celebrating Fiesta along with Easter with a pinata filled with candy strung in a tree. Guests took turns trying to break it open with a stick. Confetti filled brightly colored  eggs called Cascarones  were hidden around the yard. It is considered good luck if a friend cracks one open on your head. Martha had on hand two bubble blowing lawn mowers. Can you think of better entertainment than a pinata filled with candy, cake, confetti and bubbles? 

From the Zurita family I received this wonderful book to fill in about my family history so I can pass it on to the next generation. What a wonderful day spent with this family.

This was the best birthday ever. 

Gary managed to get in his fix as well. He got to eat at his favorite gas station, barbeque picnic tabled equipped restaurant where they sell your meat by the pound and serve the best, sweetest creamed corn in the world. Another destination visited on his list was the all you can eat Golden Coral which did not disappoint him filled with a 100 choices of your favorite most fattening foods.

All who contributed to this great birthday celebration I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

The Easter Trip

Anxiety is already setting in as we leave today. In the middle of the night we set out in the packed up car for a 6 hour drive from Whitby to Detroit. Going across the border in the early morning, hopefully avoiding the rush of commuters all wishing to get to work on time, is the plan. Also is the hope there will be less traffic at that time of the day. We fly out from the Detroit Airport around 8:30 in the morning. We must first find our close as possible parking spot at the Park and Fly lot near the airport limiting our walking distance with all of our luggage. I walk with a cane because of my arthritis and Gary walks with a limp due to an open sore of one of his feet due to diabetes. What a pair we make.
I plan on taking my Disabled Parking Pass with me so we can use it in our rented car in San Antonio. Since you are not allowed to make duplicates of same I am wondering how will we be able to find the closest parking spot to the airport which has not been assigned for disabled use. Challenges we shall have to overcome, I guess.
Gary has requested wheelchair assistance for me counting on it being available this early in the morning. I find it difficult managing the long walking distances in an airport. Did you know the Detroit Airport is one mile long?
We have decided to take all of our luggage with us since they are charging for any checked bags. I thought in the USA most domestic flights allowed for one checked bag each without any additional fees. I guess we found an airline which is attempting to break this standard. Just our luck!
Since both of us are larger then average people fitting into the economy seats sometimes presents a challenge. We both have issues getting on the plane having to manage our luggage, dealing with other anxious passengers all wanting to do the same with the hope some Good Samaritan will come along and help with the luggage so one piece each can be stowed in the above cabinet and the other will make it under the seat at our feet.
I always ask for an isle seat, closest to the front as possible to limit my having to maneuver my way down the aisle with my cane and luggage, counting on the other passengers in my row are already in their assigned spots. I try to limit how often I have to get up and down in my seat to allow for them to get by. When I see someone beside me consume copious amounts of liquid refreshments when offered I pray they have a large bladder.  I do not want to have to get up to allow for them to relieve themselves. I limit what I will consume on a plane for the same reason. Selfish of me I know to expect the same from my fellow passengers, but it is difficult for me to get up and down in the narrow space they allow for people to sit for hours on end on a plane.
It is my hope when we get at our destination there is a friendly face at the other end and some nice person offering to help with the luggage and wheel me with it to the airport exit.
We have rented a car in San Antonio for the duration of our visit. I will happily sit in the airport with the luggage awaiting the arrival of Gary with the car.
We arrive almost four hours before we are allowed to check into our hotel. Calling to see if we could check in early did not help. They said it is unlikely. I thought they were busy solely because of the Easter Holidays. The San Antonio Spurs have made it into the Playoffs with expected sold out seats. Lots of out of town visitors will be there for the games making hotel accommodation reservations a challenge.
We will be at one of these games while visiting. Nadia has three seats set aside for her for all home games accommodating the grand-kids or other guests. The Spurs have a Family Centre at the ATT facility allowing for the staff and players to bring their children to the games. All guests are fed and catered to nicely including the children. The infant centre has staff looking after all their needs and toddlers and beyond aged children are cared for in the play room adjacent to the Family Room. They receive tremendous support from the staff making you feel extremely welcome. I believe my daughter and her husband Spurs Player # 15 Matt Bonner is arranging for two additional seats for our visit so all guests can watch the game in comfort.
Just spoke to my daughter arranging for our lunch request upon arrival. She has asked if we could pick my granddaughter EV up from her school. What a treat that will be. I have often visited this school over the past few years and take delight in their programing and how happy EV is here. Next year will reap a change for her. Should they stay in San Antonio she will change schools and start grade one. I can't believe how quickly the time has gone by. If they move to New Hampshire she will attend a local school. The selection will be suggested by another Grandmother, Paula Bonner who has taught public school aged children in the Concord, New Hampshire area for years. She will offer guidance regarding the best choice for EV.
If the Bonner family moves back to New Hampshire it will be a bonus for all family members, even the Canadian ones. New Hampshire is withing driving distance. A trip can be managed using a long weekend and maybe a day or two extra. A trip to Texas can not be managed this way. Most of your time would be spent driving. We would get to see everyone more often which would be great. I am voting on the family moving here. Matt's career will dictate their next move. We all wait with anxiety to see if he will be re-signed by the Spurs for the next Season. Part of me is voting for this to happen but the Grandma part of me is hoping for the opposite to happen. Selfish thinking I know. I do miss these little people a lot.
Can't wait until tomorrow.
The adventure begins.

Easter Visit for Grandma

Easter Visit

Off to San Antonio with Gary to spend Easter with my grandchildren. 

My 65th birthday also falls on the Easter weekend. My birthday wish was to spend my birthday with my granddaughter EV aged 5 in a couple of months and my grandson August aged 2 at the end of the summer. This visit I will stay in a hotel with Gary so as to not interrupt the day to day activities of my daughter Nadia's household or at least to attempt to minimize the impact on their lives as much as possible. Past visits to Matt and Nadia's home have been spent with them in their guest room. I become part of the background after awhile. I love these visits but they can exhaust me. There is a reason 65 year old people are not raising preschoolers. It is difficult to keep up with them and their energy level. When awake these little power houses never stop moving.
I can't wait to have their little arms around me hugging me as hard as they can and giving me lots of kisses only young uninhibited children are capable of doing.
When they are older and are more aware of other people's reactions to their actions these bouts of spontaneous shows of love and affection become less frequent. Best to take advantage of them while you can.
August and EV will enjoy the cake with lit candles to blow out more than I will. Birthdays to them are a sign of  accomplishing more. Hearing their little voices singing me the Happy Birthday song will be a delight to my ears.
When you get to my age you realize with each year you are capable of doing less. Funny how that works.

 

Long Distance Grandma

It is hard being a Long Distance Grandma. If I had my say they would live closer to me or me closer to them but this is not going to happen. I live just outside of Toronto, Ontario, Canada and the Bonner family consisting of Matt, Nadia, EV and August all live in San Antonio, Texas, USA during the NBA season. Off season the family split their time between the mountain area just outside of Concord, New Hampshire and Toronto, Ontario. They have homes in both places. I love it when they are here but wish they did not live right downtown and on the west side of Yonge, Street in Toronto. Traffic is horrible turning the commute for visits into somewhat of a nightmare. There is always a pleasant surprise when I get there to see these two lovely, happy faces.
I know the Bonner grandparents are in the same boat when the family are in New Hampshire.They are always happy when the family is close by but the visits are never long enough.
When my children were young my children only got to see their Dad's Mom frequently while she was alive. She lived close by and never said no to a visit. Her door was always open. I mean literally as I do not think she ever locked it. My parent's on the other hand lived out of town but at least not out of country so visits were a little more frequent with them than what I have now.
I am pleased my grandchildren are happy and healthy and that my son-in-law has ample means to provide them with a good life. Both my daughter Nadia and her husband Matt are excellent parents.
You can see by the pictures posted above that the kids are turning out to be happy well adjusted children. This is all one can expect.
At least through Face to Face programs, SKYPE, Facebook, Speakers on Phones you can keep in touch with love ones who live at a distance.
My poor son-in-law Matt Bonner must use these means of contact to keep in touch with his family when playing in games away from their home town. This is sometimes more then half of the time he gets to spend at home some months depending on the schedule for their games. This is all part of the job.
Playing for the San Antonio Spurs is a privilege but everything in life comes with a cost.
Now if only my son Adam would find some nice girl to settle down with and consider providing me with more grandchildren I would be happier.

Senior Grandma - am I really a Senior????

At Age Two - EV and her love of books

EV at age Four Months - Starting to figure out books are for pleasure

Whether we like it or not time catches up with us and suddenly you are classified as a Senior. What is a Senior these days? I have seen advertisements stating those over 45 qualify for a Senior Discount. Okay to get the discount you will admit to your age but really what happened to middle age? Other sites say it is over age 5o.

Still even others claim it to be 55. This is what caught Gary and I off guard. Everyone makes assumptions about different age groups among other things. Well we thought since most of the kids taking our tickets at the show are around 15 years of age and they think everyone over 30 is old so we would purchase Seniors tickets from the machine at the front of the show. Well, why not? You save a substantial amount of money and heck I was already retired and for the most part living on my pension. Well we did this a number of times. One day when I was looking up what to see on on their web page was I ever shocked and had a good laugh. The joke had been on us all along. We were Seniors based on their age system of qualification. Gary and I had fooled no one but ourselves.

CPP (Canada Pension Plan) lets you draw out an early, albeit reduced pension amount at age 60. My OMERS plan allows most to apply for an early retirement pension income at age 55 if they meet the other requirements. Police and Firefighters are often allowed to retire at age 50.

OAS (Old Age Pension) only allows you to apply at age 65. CPP is now encouraging those who want to work beyond the age of age 65 to leave their contributions in until age 70 and receive a bonus for doing so.

Well for me one indication of old age was that I now needed to colour the roots of my hair if I wanted the colour to match the rest on my head. Next, my arthritis which I was diagnosed with at age 30 seemed to reach a stage of really interfering with me getting around easily at around age 50. Not that I have ever been known to be an athletic person, at age 50 this really seemed a chore at even pretending to exercise. It just hurt everywhere. At age 50 I ended up with a severe ear infection which resulted in a hole in one of my ear drums and a loss of 50% of my hearing in that ear. So now you have this slow walker who can no longer hear well who on the inside feels as young as she did at 20 but with enough experience behind her to not repeat the mistakes she made at that time.

So what do you have when you retire? You have time to do the things you would like to do but are hindered from doing them well.

Now to top this all off, you become a Grandmother and want to do all the things you enjoyed most doing with your own children when they were young with your Grandchild. Well unfortunately you just can't!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Darn.... You must learn to accommodate your situation and make changes to the way you do things.

In many ways I must have contributed to my Granddaughter's physical advancements to my need for her to be more self sufficient. She learned to sit up faster because it was easier for me if she did especially at bath time. Reaching over to support her back while bathing hurt mine. Reaching over in the crib to pick her up also caused a problem. Just lifting her to her change table sometimes offered challenges but I was not about to admit it at the time in case I lost visiting privileges. I just learned how to pick her up when I was either sitting or close by to a chair where both of us could sit together. Changing her on a bed was easier and gave her an opportunity to check out a new location (new ceiling, walls, pillows, sheets, etc.). OUR SECRET!! Reading with EV on my lap became our favourite activity outside of singing songs or my own story telling. EV is a good listener.

My daughter and her Nanny would place her in a reclining position in her swing and I would put her on a blanket on the floor surrounded by toys in front of her for her to reach. She was supported by pillows should she fall over.

For crawling I would put her toys just out of reach so she would have to work her way over to them. Parents are too protective just as I was when I was a parent but I am a Grandparent now and know that these tiny beings are more resilient than you think.

For walking, since I had a hard time to carry her I would hold on with one hand and say we are marching. As long as you did the march and sang her a song or counted your steps she loved it. Of course all of this had to be done without the parents or Nanny watching until the skill was mastered. They wanted to protect her but I knew she was ready so off we would go on our own agenda. Now mind you my heart would go out to her when I would have to say Grandma can not lift you up the stairs when she was tired so she had to hold my hand as tired as she was and trudge up the "wooden hill" with me. In time, I learned to spend the last hour or two of her day on the right level in the house making sure we had all the right ingredients on the right floor to accomplish a successful bedtime routine.

E.V. loves her books and this comes from being surrounded by them, being read to from birth, and hearing the joy in the story telling from all of those who read to her. Her mother, my daughter Nadia was the same. Nadia at age two would tell you where and which word you left out of her favourite stories.

EV has turned out to be a product of all of us who have contributed to her growing up and she is only two. Imagine what else will happen as time goes on?